


she loves him, not you, she'll say, doubt in her voice

by Echoe



Series: one word prompts [2]
Category: Sweet Elite (Visual Novel)
Genre: Denial of Feelings, F/F, Mutual Pining, POV Second Person, but really what would you expect from karol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:37:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24820165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Echoe/pseuds/Echoe
Summary: Karolina's just trying really hard not to be in love with you.(She's not very successful.)
Relationships: Karolina Nováková/Scholar, Karolina/Scholar
Series: one word prompts [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1790629
Kudos: 10





	she loves him, not you, she'll say, doubt in her voice

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt :  
> appetence (n.) - an eager desire, an instinctive inclination; an attraction or a natural bond

Karolina likes Tadashi.  
Her heart skips a beat when she sees him, she easily gets flustered around him and wants to get closer to him.  
Or, well, that's how she remembers it.  
She doesn't want to acknowledge it (or has she not realized yet?), but recently, her feelings have been changing.  
Well, not quite. They haven't really changed, her crush on Tadashi hasn't suddenly disappeared.  
It's just being overshadowed by much stronger feelings.

When you smile at her (because, somehow, you still find the want to do that, no matter how harsh she is with you), she has to fight the blush off her face, has to pretend that her heart isn't beating faster and that she doesn't kind of want to smile back.  
She has to ignore how her skin will burn where you've touched it, even if it's just a light tap on her shoulder to get her attention.  
She has to bury all of these feelings because she's never felt any of that for Tadashi and, frankly, it worries her.

She shouldn't be feeling this way towards you. Or, at the very least, not with so much _intensity_.  
She's been so clear to you at the beginning of the year. You aren't good enough for her.  
So why does she want you so _much_?  
Why does she think about you so often, why does her gaze inevitably drift in your direction during class?  
Why does she keep finding excuses to touch you somehow?  
Why does she always wait excitedly (no, no, that's too strong of a word to her liking- she just thinks it's _nice_ to have someone who can actually hold their own against her, that's all) for whatever retort you'll give to whatever dig she'll throw at you?  
She wants it to _stop_.  
(It doesn't.)

Once, the two of you had gotten paired together during biology class. Some kind of experiment involving potentially dangerous chemicals. Protection goggles and gloves were mandatory.  
She'd thought, then, that you somehow looked ridiculously cute with these big plastic glasses on, and had immediately said so but made it sound like an insult to calm herself down.  
(You'd just shrugged. You really didn't care.)  
Another time, during maths, the heating had been turned up way too high and you'd been feeling too hot but had already taken off your jacket, so all you had left was rolling your sleeves up your elbows.  
Karolina didn't know _why_ , but the sight of skin had made her warm in the stomach.  
(Which is completely ridiculous because for god's sake, you change in the same room for PE classes, she shouldn't feel _anything_ because of something like this-  
Maybe it's because she always makes a point to look anywhere but at you when you're changing.  
She doesn't want to know how she'd react if she actually looked at you.)

She hates it all, so, she tries to distract herself with Tadashi.  
It works to an extent.  
(Then you'll walk up to her just to say hi and she'll have to ignore how she'll perk up at the sound of your voice.  
It's infuriating.)

But she isn't the only problem.  
You're a problem, too, because you keep trying to befriend her for some reason.  
Either you hadn't been listening when she'd told you to stay away from her or you just _don't care_ , and she doesn't know which one's worse.  
(She's also seen you happily chatting with Neha, but that's yet another problem.  
You're full of them, aren't you?)  
Point is, you apparently want to be her friend (or, at least, on not hostile terms), and she doesn't know what to do about it.  
Doesn't know what to do when you ask her more about herself. She feels the need to get on the defensive, on the off chance that you're just be trying to get information to use against her.  
(But mostly because she's scared of the idea of the two of you getting closer, really.  
Especially since it doesn't seem she's able to stop it.  
It just keeps happening.)

"Karolina?"

(Oh, god, no.  
She'd been boring holes into a magazine with her eyes until you came, trying desperately to calm her agitated heart after you'd bumped into her earlier in biology while trying to move around the lab.  
Now is _not_ the time.)

"What do you _want_?"

It's more aggressive than you expected, and you wonder if maybe she's in a bad mood, instead of just being annoyed at you in general.

"Just... wanted to know what you're up to? If that's cool?"

(You're doing it again.  
Trying to spend time with her like the two of you are friends.  
Who the _hell_ do you think you are?  
 ~~It doesn't make her happy. It just doesn't.~~ )

"... You okay? You look mad," you pause, tilting your head to the side, "like, more than usual. No offense."

She narrows her eyes at you.

"I'm _fine_. Just annoyed because _someone_ here can't learn how to leave me _alone_."  
"Oh."

You're... not particularly offended, to be perfectly honest. At this point, you're just convinced she's pissed and wants to be alone, and that's fair, honestly.

"Well, okay then, I'll go. I'll see you later!"  
"Don't count on it."

You hum dismissively and turn to leave.  
Part of her is relieved, but part of her is also disappointed to see you go so soon.  
But she can only blame herself for that, she literally chased you away.  
She could always call out to you, sure, but-  
She'd never do that.  
She watches you go without another word.  
This is how things should be.

(But the next day, you'll greet her again, like nothing ever happened. You'll keep trying, and her resolve will weaken a little more.  
And maybe, at some point, she'll accept that the two of you could be friends.  
Or more than that.)


End file.
